Meet Michelle Beck
I am Michelle and I am A LOT – in the best ways possible!
There is no one way that I can describe myself, but all of these apply: strong woman, wife, mother, friend, dog lover, 2X breast cancer survivor, published author, podcast host, LGBTQIA+ ally, daughter, organizer, sister, caregiver, hot mess, Enneagram 2 – The Helper, middle school employee and patient advocate.
Now, I can add Bryght 2024 model to this list! Listen to my podcast episode recapping the experience here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/802067/15743115
The twists and turns which I have navigated in life have allowed me to experience so much, and also to grow and change for the better. Breast cancer has been a huge part of this journey for me. I would not change it because it has brought so much good into my life.
I was a teen when my grandmother was first diagnosed with breast cancer; enough of a young adult to be told that it was happening, but too selfish to really get it. Fast forward to a second diagnosis for her and finally a third when I was in my early 30’s. I would buy a new pink ribbon t-shirt every year in support and I spent as much time with her as I could, but the last visits made such an impact on me. She passed in 2008 with metastatic breast cancer; I was 37 years old.
I had just begun to date my now husband at this time and lived away from all of my family and lifelong friends so he was my rock. During this time, I told him over and over that if I was ever diagnosed with breast cancer, I did not want to suffer the way my grandmother had so I would have a bilateral mastectomy and just be done with it.
Easier said than done.
I was 41 years old when I first heard those words “You have breast cancer.” A tumor in my left breast was caught on a regular mammogram; I was incredibly lucky that it was very small, stage 1 and the most treatable type. Yay, I guess? Nothing makes any sense when you are diagnosed with cancer. It is as if you are in a Charlie Brown cartoon and you cannot understand the words. All that I wanted was for my medical team to tell me what to do, but no, I had choices. I felt like I was staring at the menu from The Cheesecake Factory with a gun to my head being told to just choose.
My early words haunted me. because I did not want to suffer the way my grandmother had. But, since I was stage 1, small tumor, hormone positive, blah, blah, blah, I had options! I could have a lumpectomy with radiation followed by five years of Tamoxifen, standard of care for premenopausal women with my type of cancer. Or, I could have a single or a bilateral mastectomy with or without reconstruction, which comes with more options, followed by Tamoxifen. With either option, my survival rates where almost identical, in the 98% range.
I did not want to make this choice; my husband encouraged me to follow my original plan with a bilateral mastectomy. However, at this point, I was blessed to be a mother and my child was only 20 months old. I still cuddled her, held her and carried her. I was not ready to give up this closeness and connection just because I had a tiny tumor which was easily treatable. The mastectomy seemed to be overkill and I rolled the dice. Lumpectomy, radiation and Tamoxifen.
Life moved on. I was enjoying being a stay-at-home mom after a stressful career of being a paralegal, then a C-Level Executive and Personal Assistant. All I wanted was to take care of my family, which also included four older bonus kids and two dogs, and live my life.
Four years later, my other breast said “hold my beer.” Again, on a regular mammogram, a new tumor was detected. I had a new primary occurrence on the other side of my chest. Looking back now, I can joke about it, the right breast was jealous and felt left out: “Pick me, it’s my turn.” At the time, I was broken emotionally and then physically after multiple surgeries and the follow-on treatment for postmenopausal women of aromatase inhibitors (“AIs”).
When faced with this second diagnosis, I felt I had no choice, despite the fact that my new tumor was also stage 1 with the same pathology. I opted for a bilateral mastectomy with implant reconstruction followed by a total hysterectomy. That single sentence incorporates eight months of multiple surgeries followed by recovery time, appointments to fill the expanders and the start of the AIs which I have named “Satan’s pills” that took such a horrific toll on the quality of my life.
Active treatment was complete, the cancer was out of my body, but I was lost and beat down in so many ways. Why did I get cancer twice? I berated myself for not having the mastectomy after my first diagnosis. The AIs would do their job to keep cancer from returning in my body and also gave me life altering side effects. Now what was I going to do with my life? My daughter was in school and I had too much time on my hands. Cue major depression and anxiety.
I needed to feel useful and do something, anything, to get out of the house. There was no way that I was going back to my prior career of being a 24/7 high-level assistant. I took a very part-time job at my daughter’s elementary school, walking around and monitoring the lunch periods for two hours a day. I lasted three days due to the pain in my body from the AIs and left in tears, feeling worse than I did prior. My husband knew this was bad and suggested I find a place to volunteer and this is where my life changed.
Come to find out, this amazing support organization which helped women with breast cancer was less than one mile from my house. Breast Friends’ mission is to ensure that no one goes through a diagnosis of breast cancer alone. They did this for me and so many more. I had driven by it for years and never gave it a second thought. I walked in to volunteer and essentially did not leave for 5 ½ years. I met my cancer person, she is the Yang to my Ying (not technically correct, but it is her nickname for me, we have matching tattoos of the symbol). I later became an employee and eventually took over hosting of the Breast Friends Cancer Support Network podcast for two years.
During the time I was with Breast Friends, my mindset shifted. I was surrounded by support and understanding which I had no idea that I needed. I had amazing family and friends who were by my side every step of my cancer journey, but it is completely different to follow along the path where others have tread and be guided by them. I threw myself into volunteering, starting with data entry, then progressed to phone calls to patients for counsel and support. I had purpose again and in finding that purpose, also found the healing that I needed to move forward in my life with joy. When I became an official employee, I was working with my new BFF and we made the best team, setting up patient programs and events to support those new to the program and to foster connections with so many who had also found a new home. Seeing the healing that manifested by shared experience, connection and giving back, gave me a new perspective on moving beyond trauma.
During my two cancer experiences, I wrote blog posts to keep out of town friends and family updated on my treatment. Over time, the words morphed into therapy for me as I documented the good, bad and everything in between which I dealt with due to cancer. As I was helping the women from Breast Friends deal with what I had experienced, I realized that it was possible to help and inspire others. I decided I was going to take my prior writings, add a bunch more and turn them into a book. In February of 2023, it was bittersweet as I left Breast Friends to devote my time to bringing that dream to fruition. In September of 2023, I became a published author; I Never Liked Pink: Lessons Cancer Taught Me is now out in the world and I am incredibly proud. If one person reads my book and can take something that I went through and it makes dealing with their own trauma easier, I consider it a success.
In addition to the amazing people which cancer brought into my life, it also gave me a new sense of purpose: to give back and help others. Having already spent years in the breast cancer realm, I wanted to do more. I had thoroughly enjoyed my time as host of the Breast Friends Cancer Support Network podcast so I decided to host my own where I speak to individuals about how they are putting good out into the world and helping others . . . just because. We Rise By Lifting Each Other is my passion project where I get to do what I love – talk to people and share how there are so many out there who want to help others move through and beyond. I truly believe that we heal together through adversity and we rise by lifting each other!
After working at Breast Friends, publishing a book and hosting a podcast, I knew that I had more to give and could use my voice to do so. Being a Patient Advocate is something which is so important to me; not everyone wants to publicly share the ups and downs of life, especially something as life altering as breast cancer, but I am here for it.
In mid 2022, when I had been on the AIs for almost five years, despite my mental healing and progress, my body was still suffering. I was the poster child for side effects from the medication and the pain I dealt with had become intolerable. I ran across a post in my Instagram feed for a test called Breast Cancer Index (“BCI”) which would tell me if I needed to continue the AIs past the five-year mark. Sign me up! My test results came back with a: yes, continued use of the AIs would help, however my current chance of a recurrence was at 2.9%. Another five years on the AIs would only bring that chance down to 1.9%. This test allowed me to make an informed decision to stop using the AIs and I have not looked back. Within a month, I had reclaimed a good quality of life without pain and the other numerous side effects. As you can imagine, I was so excited about this test and wrote about it in an online article. The company who makes BCI saw it and reached out. Since then, I have become a huge advocate for this test, doing webinars, written articles and done interviews about how BCI should be standard of care. BCI invited me to attend the San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium in December 2022 to speak to medical practitioners about my experience with BCI and how much it helped me. It was surreal to walk into a convention center and up to a booth to see your photo on the TV screen, along with your words about something so important! The following year, BCI invited me to their company HQ in San Diego; I read the chapter in my book about the test to their staff at their end of the year celebration. I will continue to do whatever I can to spread the word about the test which gave me my life back.
Over the years, I have done various interviews, online and in print to share my story. One of these interviews, where I spoke about how Pivoting after breast cancer, led me to another amazing experience. I recently returned from a fly-in to Washington D.C. where I met with various Congressional aides and House of Representative members from Oregon and Washington to impress upon them the importance of ensuring access to medical imaging innovations for all Americans. Right Scan Right Time is working to improve patient care and save lives by creating access to new AI technology. I shared portions of my personal experience with imaging technology and how I believe that regular mammograms saved my life with early detection. Other patients in our group shared why continued imaging will allow them to monitor for ongoing care. We are anxiously awaiting for new legislation to be introduced to the Senate on this topic and my voice was part of this endeavor!
Being chosen to be a Bryght 2024 model is another way that I can share my story to help others. I know that I am strong and courageous because I have faced something that tried to kill me twice and came out a better person for it. I am thrilled to be a part of the Cancer Compassionate story, showcasing the products which Luba and the Bryght team have worked so hard to create. Did I take photos in beautiful underwear by AnaOno? Yes! Did I love the way my body looked? Not always, but I know that my body is STRONG and I have COURAGE to do things out of my comfort zone. Supporting Bryght and their products in this way filled my soul. My hope is that others will do the same: do things which are not comfortable, use your voice to inspire and always help others. You will be a better person for it. I know I am.
I cannot wait to see what comes next for me, but I know that I will continue to use my voice in whatever way possible to make the world a better place. Thank you to Bryght for this opportunity to share!