"Scanxiety" - Anxiety and worry thataccompaniesthe period of time before undergoing or receiving the results of a medical examination.
Today I had a routine preventative ultrasound. I have dense breasts so they alternate between mammograms and ultrasounds. Since this was just a "check up" I didn't think anything of it... until I laid on that table and watched the screen as the tech moved the wand around my breasts.
The waiting and silence only added to the PTSD and negative thoughts running through my head. I know that time is my greatest blessing but this afternoon it felt like a curse. The ultrasound was emotional, my mind kept wandering and bringing me back to the first ultrasound I had before I was diagnosed. I remember looking at the screen and seeing a huge black hole and instantly knowing it was cancer.
Today I kept looking at the screen, looking for that "black hole", seeing things that weren't there. With every positive thought I would tell myself it was followed with 3 negative ones. I remember thinking what the next steps would be if the cancer had returned; who would I tell? What travel plans need to be cancelled? What will happen to my business and my relationship? How will I ever do this again?
Cancer is a mindfuck and the PTSD is real. Cancer isn't pretty pink ribbons and fun wigs. Keeping your mind free and clear of negative thoughts is the hardest job I've ever had.
“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do, and mostly live.”
Living here in the desert, I really suffer with my hands, getting very dry, cracked and irritated with red. I’ve choose I’ve used lots of other creams and lotions to try to help with it, but nothing would help. But then I came across strength repair balm by bright. It changed everything completely within 3 to 4 days the dryness had been completely more hydrated. The cracking had disappeared, and the red irritation was gone. Now I keep this product stocked on my shelf to use other parts of bodies for moisture hydration. it is an amazing product, and I highly recommend it to anyone who suffers from dry skin, redness, or irritation
M
Body Wash Maria Luisa Ayala (California, United States)
I’m 2 weeks in to using this cream and I’m in love. My skin looks and feels great. My girlfriends are all commenting on how refreshed my face looks. Will definitely buy again. Plus Luba is a sweetheart! I missed the bogo sale because of my own mistake and she still honoured the sale after it was over. Amazing customer service all around. Thanks to all the ladies at Bryght!! <3
Living here in the desert, I really suffer with my hands, getting very dry, cracked and irritated with red. I’ve choose I’ve used lots of other creams and lotions to try to help with it, but nothing would help. But then I came across strength repair balm by bright. It changed everything completely within 3 to 4 days the dryness had been completely more hydrated. The cracking had disappeared, and the red irritation was gone. Now I keep this product stocked on my shelf to use other parts of bodies for moisture hydration. it is an amazing product, and I highly recommend it to anyone who suffers from dry skin, redness, or irritation
M
Body Wash Maria Luisa Ayala (California, United States)
I’m 2 weeks in to using this cream and I’m in love. My skin looks and feels great. My girlfriends are all commenting on how refreshed my face looks. Will definitely buy again. Plus Luba is a sweetheart! I missed the bogo sale because of my own mistake and she still honoured the sale after it was over. Amazing customer service all around. Thanks to all the ladies at Bryght!! <3